I Have Seen Jim Hawkins, and He is I

Let me say right off the bat, there are many characteristics that Jim Hawkins and I do not share including but not limited to:

• A love of the sea
• A hard to fathom fondness for the inside of apple barrels
• The ability to row a boat in a sustained direction as opposed to circling and circling
• The desire to run in the direction of rather than away from gunfire
• Pulse-pounding narrative skill
• The ability to refer to someone as Barbecue without irony
• Derring-do

But the one thing that Jim and I do have in common is best illustrated in this quotation:

“‘Left, left, says he; ‘keep to you left hand, mate Jim! Under the trees with you! There’s where I killed my first goat. They dont’ come down here now; they’re all mastheaded on them mountings for the fear of Benjamin Gunn. Ah! and there’s the cetemery’–cemetery he must have meant.”

Yes, that’s right. Whether it be in casual conversation or in the heat of pirate siege, neither Jim nor I can resist the urge to pedantically correct someone’s incorrect diction.

Finally, I get Jim Hawkins!

What is this “Skeleton Island” you refer to? Mayhaps I am not as far along in the narrative voyage as you are. I just waded through the snooze fest of Dr. Livesey’s part of the tale.

Also, I was intrigued by the fact that the food item that Ben Gunn missed most after three year’s marooned an island was cheese. It got me thinking about what I would miss most if I had to live off wild goat, berries, and oysters for three years.

Now, this might be painted by my reading of your last post, but right now I am leaning toward long johns.

You?

Justin
(Me)

 

On Emphasis and Sweet Buns

Justin…I’m glad you’re back!  I think I can help out with your confusion regarding our lead pirate’s nickname.  To answer your question I shall quote that most hilarious of flight attendant movies, View From The Top.  Imagine a slightly cross-eyed Mike Myers in the hilarious cameo role of flight attendant instructor, John Witney:

You’ve put the emPHAsis on the wrong sylABBLE.

It is not that there is some aspect of Pirate Silver that is long…rather his shipmates are celebrating his skill at crafting delicious cream-filled treat.  Not “Long” John Silver, but rather “Long John” Silver.  Mmm…I could go for a long john right now (with sprinkles, but no filling–gross and unnecessary).  So this nickname is an a very similar vein to his other nom de mer “Barbecue”. (Because he’s also a hand at toasting up some burgers and bratwurst–one assumes).

See how this blog helps us both gain a deeper understanding of the book!  That glossary you provided in your last post sure has been helpful!  Everything is some much clearer now!

But speaking of nicknames and confusion…I’m finding myself puzzling as I progress through this book…Are “Treasure Island” and “Skeleton Island” the same thing?  Or are there two islands?  I think that if they’re the same island “Skeleton Island” would have been a much cooler title for this book.

Well I look forward to hearing your thoughts again (perhaps at the beginning of March?)…

Until then,

“Long John” Jon

Confessions of a Neglectful Blogger

• Hi.

I don’t know if you’ll remember me. My name’s Justin (you might remember me from the womb), and I occasionally (some might say VERY occasionally) contribute a little something or other to this blog. But it appears that over the last few weeks I haven’t exactly been pulling my weight when it comes to the updating.

Well, Twin Brother, no more. I will be the first to admit that I haven’t posted much lately, but that is about to change: I heretofore promise to try to post a bit more often. (Now that I haven’t posted for 6 weeks, I feel I have set the bar sufficiently low to be successful in living up to these terms–heck if I post once every three weeks it will seem like a James Patterson-esque level of  literary output.)

I would like to say something along the lines of “Genius takes time” or “You can’t rush art.”  to explain away my current glacial posting pace, but then I came across some of the notes I made about possible post…and well, you be the judge:

The Many Nicknames of John Silver
-”Long”–Am I the only one who thinks this nickname makes no sense? Long John Silver? More like Lame John Silver.

-”Barbecue”–Now here’s a nickname! If I were LJS I’d say, “Argh, why do you not call me by me true pirate name: Barbecue, matey.

P.S. Is it just me or does Long John Silver not talk like a pirate (Disappointing)

See now I am guessing you’re thanking me for not posting. You’re welcome.

Now, before I close this post out I did want to address your point about jargon. You’re right it can be confusing and since I have read both Treasure Island and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, the other book you found rather jargon-y, I thought it might be helpful if I put together a little glossary of useful terms, that might help smooth your way through further reading:

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy:

Tinker: (n.) a mender of pots, pans, and kitchen utensils

Tailor: (n.) a maker of clothes

Soldier: (n.) a member of an army, an individual performing military service

Spy: (n.) a covert operative who gather secret information

Treasure Island

Pirate: (n.): a “bad” sailor

Ship: (n.): a form of transportation used for transport in water

Island: (n.): a landmass completely surrounded by water

foc’s'le: (n.): a…uhh…a or an…uh..okay you got me, but I think its something like a popsicle.

Happy reading,

Justin

 

 

At Sea With Nautical Terminology

Well Twinner I’m slogging my way through the Dr. Trelawny parts (I just scanned ahead and it looks like I’m mere pages from the return of Jim–thank goodness).

Anyhow as I read through the Doctor’s narration I find myself more and more confused by his use of sea-faring jargon.  Here are some examples:

“The gunwhale was lipping astern”

or

“If we let the current have it’s way we should come ashore beside the gigs”

What the?!?  I encountered a similar confusion with professional jargon while recently reading Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (spy term this, spy gizmo that).  I enjoy the verisimilitude, but come on dudes throw me some context clues.  Those sentences might as well be written in Sanskrit for all the help they provide me in making mind pictures of this novel.

Luckily Jim speaks at a child’s level…which is just about where I’m at with all boat talk with the “jibs” and the “gigs” and “astern” whatsamawhosits that all the pirate kids are using these days.

Speaking of what pirate kids are saying these days…I was walking by the boatyards the other day and I overheard a young Captain Hector Barbossa  muttering to his friends, “Argh!  Me wonders what happened to Justin’s posts?  I think they should call that weblog “Reading Alone With A Lonely Guy That Like Cat Mysteries” Argh!  G’day!” (did I mention that he was an Australian pirate, because he was.  Also odd that this young pirate used such antiquated Internet terminology.).

I didn’t say that…just some random Australian pirate youth talking about how you haven’t posted in a while (since November).

Isn’t it good to know that we have a reader!

Just let me know if you want to guide this blog to shore…

Until Next Time (?)

Jon

Jon’s 2011 of Reading

Happy new year!

I’m going to take short break from Treasure Island to look back and reflect in general on my reading for 2011.  I mean if Jim can take a break from narrating (shiftless) then I can take a break from exegesis-ing.

So here are my favorite books from 2011:

a.) How to Live: A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer by Sarah Bakewell

Far and away my favorite book this year…my love on Montaigne mixed with a uniquely crafted biography narrative structure equals reading bliss.

b.) Radioactive: Marie and Pierre Curie by Laura Redniss

Speaking of creative biographies…reading this book is like reading a work of art.

c.) Franklin and Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage by Hazel Rowley

More traditional, but about the Roosevelts…so there’s that.

d.) The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

A very hyped book that more than met the hype.  Science writing at it’s best.

e.) The Tragedy of Arthur by Arthur Phillips

Kind of a surprise for me because I haven’t loved his earlier books…but this one knocked my socks off.  And it takes place in the Twin Cities, which is always fun (to read a book that takes place where you live).  Plus a very decent Shakespeare pastiche at the end…very gutsy, and even more impressive it’s good.

f.)  The Rule Against Murder by Louise Penny

I love the Armand Gamache mysteries and this one was the strongest one I’ve read yet.

For the record (and records are being kept!) here is entire list of my 2011 reading:

1. The Cruelest Month by Louise Penny
2. Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
3. One Day by David Nicholls
4. The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. LeGuin (blog book)
5. The Sherlockian by Graham Moore
6. Crossfire by Dick Francis and Felix Francis
7. How to Live: A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer by Sarah Bakewell
8. The Innocence of Father Brown by G.K. Chesterton
9. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
10. Bloody Crimes: The Chase for Jefferson Davis and the Death Pageant for Lincoln’s Corpse by James Swanson
11. Just Kids by Patti Smith
12. Parker: The Outfit by Darwyn Cooke
13. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
14. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
15. Bloodroot by Amy Greene
16. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
17. Our Kind of Traitor by John Le Carre
18. Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson
19. The Body of Death by Elizabeth George
20. The Summer We Read Gatsby by Danielle Ganek
21. The Indian Bride by Karin Fossum
22. Radioactive: Marie and Pierre Curie by Laura Redniss
23. An Evil Eye by Jason Goodwin
24. Two Little Girls in Blue by Mary Higgins Clark
25. The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman
26. The Panama Hat Trail by Tom Miller
27. The Walking Dead, Vol. 1: Days Gone Bye by Robert Kirkman
28. J is For Judgment by Sue Grafton
29. The Lodger by Karl Stevens
30. Bossypants by Tina Fey
31. The Walking Dead Vol. 2: Miles Behind Us by Robert Kirkman
32. The Tragedy of Arthur by Arthur Phillips
33. The Pun Also Rises: How the Humble Pun Revolutionized Language, Changed History, and Made Wordplay More Than Some Antics by John Pollack
34. Some Hope: A Trilogy by Edward St. Aubyn
35. The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
36. The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas
37. The Walking Dead Vol. 3: Safety Behind Bars by Robert Kirkman
38. The Walking Dead, Vol. 4: The Heart’s Desire by Robert Kirkman
39. In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin by Erik Larson
40. Villette by Charlotte Bronte (blog book)
41. My Lucky Life in and Out of Show Business by Dick Van Dyke
42. One Shot by Lee Child
43. Both Ways Is The Only Way I Want It by Maile Meloy
44. Death at La Fenice by Donna Leon
45. Started Early, Took My Dog by Kate Atkinson
46. Franklin and Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage by Hazel Rowley
47. Anya’s Ghost by Vera Brosgol
48. Murder in Retrospect by Agatha Christie
49. Going Bovine by Libba Bray
50. Locke & Key, Volume 1: Welcome to Lovecraft by Joe Hill
51. A Rule Against Murder by Louise Penny
52. The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman (listened to audiobook)
53. Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
54. Thursday Next: First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde
55. Heads You Lose by Lisa Lutz and David Hayward (listened to audiobook)

 

Here’s to hoping that 2012 is a great year of reading!

Jon

 

 

Shut The Front Door (Or “Lillibullero” Part 2)

No preface is necessary for this quotation (other than a prefatory explanation of the complete superfluity of a preface)

The six scoundrels were sitting grumbling under a sail in the forecastle; ashore we could see the gigs made fast, and a man sitting in each, hard by where the river runs in.  One of them was whistling “Lillibullero.”

Just in case you missed it I’ll zoom in:

One of them was whistling “Lillibullero.”

Hold the phone!  We’ve seen this song before…way back when, when we started this blog in Tristram Shandy.  And (!) right when this story takes a very Shandean detour, regressing in time to give a different perspective (of the Doctor left on the boat) of the time when Jim is gallivanting around Treasure Island, meeting cool castaways and learning more about Long John Silver’s nefarious doings.

The level of excitement I felt when I saw this has only ever been equaled by my realization that I only watch film adaptations of Madame Bovary when traveling away from home (see last post) (man I need a hobby).

That is all…Merry Christmas!  I’ll be back next week with my “Jon’s Year in Reading” post (a favorite of yours, I know.)

Until then,

Jon

Travels With Emma

Tally ho twin!

This post might be a little bit off topic, but I don’t feel particularly constrained by our blogging standards (which, I believe is clear, do not exist)…so here we go.

This past week I found myself staying at a hotel in West Lafayette, Indiana.  To while away my free evening hours I had stopped by my local branch of the public library and perused their DVD collection.  While browsing their titles I came across a heretofore unknown version of Madame Bovary from 1949.  It starred Jennifer Jones as Emma, Van Heflin as her husband, and Louis Jourdan as the roue that steels her heart.  As I sat watching the movie on Sunday night I had the following thoughts:

1. Boy I love watching movie versions of Madame Bovary when I travel!  I saw the 1991 French version while I traveled in Spain three years ago (right after we finished our conversation on the novel).  Two trips, two versions of movie…isn’t that something! (I’m realizing re-reading this sentence that this fact is probably not as interesting to you–or anyone else–as it was to me.  But I’ll tell you I was gobsmacked when I made the realization. Gobsmacked!)  The major differences I could see in the two versions were that the 1991 version was in the French language and filmed in color.  I kid!  The 1949 version seemed to be much more on the side of Emma.  Also it employed a weird framing technique where the story of Emma Bovary is recited in a court of law by Gustave Flaubert (the ever dashing James Mason) as his defense to the government’s (?) charges of immorality (which doesn’t seem super effective to me–but hey it ended with him getting let off–I guess the folks that thought it was immoral just needed to hear it out loud?).  Also the 1949 version had no blue vomit (if you’ve seen the 1991 version no more need be said).
2. Okay my only thought was “Wow I only watch movie versions of Madame Bovary when I travel!”  (Well that and “Louis Jourdan looks exactly the same in 1949 as he does in 1958 (in Gigi)!”).

I don’t really have interesting thoughts.

Back to the matter at hand…I’ve been introduced to a new (and I believe pivotal character) in TI the off-puttingly intense castaway Benjamin Gunn (whom Jim originally mistakes for a bear or a monkey–which I thought begged the question “Is there a place where bears and monkeys co-exist?”).  I was also curious to know what fell into the classification of “Christian food” that Benjamin was so hungry for…does he mean English food?  Because that seems a little anglo-centric to me.

In my glance at the next chapter (Part IV, ahem) I see that Jim gives away narrative duties to another character.  That was unexpected…I hope everything is okay.

Well I should probably sign off…my word count is getting a little lengthy (and yet I said so little).

Until next time!

Jon

The Horror, The Horror!

Ah Fate!  How you love to make me look like an asshole.

In my last post I layered chagrin on top of guilt while throwing in a soupcon of irritation in my attempts to passive-aggressively exhort a post from you.  …And then I proceed to go two weeks (I guesstimate) without joining back into our literary conversation.  Well isn’t my face just the cherriest shade of red?

But I’ve decided to take a break from my new-found Twin Peaks addiction (all I want to do when I get home from work is watch that show…all night long) to discuss one of the most horrific scenes I’ve encountered in fiction.  For those of you with weak stomachs or frail spirits you may want to turn away….there’s definitely a monster at the end of this blog post.  Here we go:

And with that, this brave fellow turned his back directly on the cook [Long John Silver], and set off walking for the beach.  But he was not destined to go far.  With a cry, John seized the branch of a tree, whipped the crutch out of his armpit and sent the uncouth missile hurtling through the air.  It struck poor Tom, point forward, and with stunning violence, right between the shoulders in the middle of the back.  His hands flew up, he gave a sort of gasp, and fell.

Okay let’s take stock…Long John Silver has just ripped a giant branch from a tree and threw it with such force that it has downed (impaled?) a hale and hearty seaman.  “So what?” you might posit.  “Yawn” you might nonverbally communicate boredom.  Just wait.

Whether he were injured much or little, none could ever tell.  Like enough, to judge from the sound, his back was broken on the spot.

!!!!  I question the scientific feasibility of Jim’s wild speculation.

But he had no time given him to recover.  Silver, agile as a monkey, even without leg or crutch, was on the top of him next moment, and had twice buried his knife up to the hilt in that defenceless body.  From my place of ambush, I could hear him pant aloud as he struck the blows.

This is a book for children?  The Muppets made a version of this story?  I find the image of the one-legged LJS monkey-galloping to the fallen man and then brutally murdering him while making audible animal noises a little…disquieting.

I wonder which Muppet played Tom in Muppet Treasure Island?   I bet it was Skooter.

Well I’m off to dine with the Log Lady!

Jon

The Definition of a Bad Idea

So, let me get this straight:

After narrowly escaping pirates and finding hints of a treasure, the doctor, the magistrate, and a child (and apparently a hush puppy loving, one-legged cook) decide to hit the high seas to find waterlogged booty. (Note: “Booty” in the pirate sense, and not the Destiny’s Child sense.)

Who thinks that’s a good idea?

Why, not since Janet Wood, Chrissy Snow and Jack Tripper decided to try and pull a fast one the Ropers has a plan felt so ill-conceived.

It has also come to my attention–in no small part due to your, shall we say, passive aggressive commenting–that you are posting nearly two posts to my every one. All I can say to that is:

Argghh!!! (See how I have subtly maintained the piratical-theme.)

I would like to say that my thought-provoking, pun-laden, wittily referential posts have a long incubation period. But then I re-read some of my posts, and well it turns out my posts have none of the aforementioned qualities. (And full disclosure I usually hammer out one of these out in about 12 minutes while simultaneously watching TV and intermittently checking Facebook. P.S. People are loving your posts as of late.)

So…uhh…I guess my excuse is….

Crickets: (chirp, chirp)

Hey, look at this:

See ya,

Justin

 

 

Poker Face

Ah I wait and I wait…but it seems that no new post is forthcoming from the imaginative fingers of my twin brother. I hesitate to be the Israel Hands to your Long John Silver (you probably have no idea what that means–to clarify I don’t want to exhort you to act before you’re fully ready).  I realize that your sophisticated readings and witty bon mots take a certain amount of time (one’s ideas must gestate!), but I’ve been noting things to discuss as I move through the book and my cryptic notes are making less and less sense as time progresses from my original reading.  So before my ideas fade into the fog of my mid-term memory I thought I’d better post.  My first cryptic note was “Not I Hands to Justin’s Hook” so that’s one note addressed.  Here are my others…

2.) “Livesey’s P Face = AMAZING!”  Probably not what you think.  I’m referring to the doctor’s ability to keep his outer visage (probably redundant that) from reflecting his inner turmoil as Jim recounts what he heard while in the apple barrel (I’m purposefully being vague…because I know that if you had gotten to the apple barrel scene already you could not not have been compelled to post–it’s quite the humdinger of an eavesdropping).  Here is his (non) reaction in the text:

‘Doctor, let me speak.  Get the captain and squire down to the cabin, and then make some pretence to send for me. I have terrible news.’

The doctor changed countenance a little, but next moment was master of himself.

‘Thank you, Jim,’ said he, quite loudly, ‘that was all I wanted to know,’ as if he had asked me a question.

Cool as a cucumber…if I had just been told that my ship’s boy had terrible news I think instead of pretending “same old, same old” my mouth would gape, my eyes would bug and I’d say something along the lines of “What?!?!!!!!  Spit it out Jim! For the love of all that is good tell me!  Seconds could make all the difference!” as I shook the bearer of the bad tidings for dramatic effect.

And finally note #3: “Raisins!  Yum yum yum.”  I’m pretty sure this refers to how when Jim finally meets with the doctor, squire and captain they’re all eating raisins, and that made me hungry for raisins.  I love raisins.

And on that note…I’m off to find some raisins (yum yum yum).

Jon